A woman hears from her doctor that she has cancer and only has six months to live. The doctor recommends that she marry a claims adjuster and move to South Dakota. The woman asks, "Will this cure my cancer?"
"No," said the doctor, "but the six months will seem much much longer!"
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Three middle-aged guys were on a cruise, sitting by the pool watching the bikinis go by. The first guy says, "My house burned to the ground in a dreadful fire. The insurance company is paying for everything so that’s why I’m here."
The second guy nodded knowingly and said, "My house was destroyed by a tremendous gas explosion. The insurance company is paying for everything and that’s why I’m here."
The third guy said, "That’s incredible. I experienced a terrible flood and lost everything. Like you, the insurance company is paying for everything and that's why I am here."
The other guys looked at him with amazement and asked, "Flood? How do you start a flood?"
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My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in
Several years ago, we had an underwriting trainee who was none too swift. One day, he was doing a certificate of insurance and turned to a co-worker and said, "I'm almost out of paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the trainee took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.